


The heart knows not what the mind thinks

by EnderTheVoiid



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: AU where Kokichi is used to test a prototype of the Neo World Program, Future Foundation AU, Hanahaki Disease, Implied Naegi Makoto/Kyoko Kirigiri/Byakuya Togami, M/M, Multi, One-Sided Naegi Makoto/Oma Kokichi, and subsequently kept around to study the effects of it, haha ouch, when you're so afraid of love you choose to get rid of the feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23891788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnderTheVoiid/pseuds/EnderTheVoiid
Summary: Kokichi wasn't supposed to catch feelings for Makoto. No, he was supposed only to make his life a living hell and make him regret rescuing the Remnant. But when feelings take root in the worst way possible, it becomes clear that Kokichi can't kid himself anymore about it.
Relationships: Kirigiri Kyoko/Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya, Naegi Makoto/Oma Kokichi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	The heart knows not what the mind thinks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jumpforjo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jumpforjo/gifts).



> Jo gave me this prompt a while ago and I ran with it. Little did I know that I was going to hurt myself with it and throw myself head first into a rarepair.

**IT STARTS WITH THE FEELING THAT HE'S ABOUT TO SUFFOCATE.** A pretty uninteresting dream is interrupted by the fact that he can feel how his lungs are starting to malfunction which sends him in a sitting position in bed, drawing as big as possible breaths in before rushing to the adjacent bathroom, knocking the door against the wall and not bothering to turn the lights on. He hovers above the sink unsure, panic rising within the more the sudden weight in his chest blocks his airways before he forces himself to cough. Once, twice. On the third attempt, he spits something out and sighs in relief when oxygen rushes inside unobstructed once more.

Back of the hand rubs at his mouth while he fights the tangy taste invading all of his senses. Though glad that he's no longer on the brink of asphyxiation, he's far from being calm. Especially when he slowly opens his eyes only to be greeted by a myriad of thin chrysanthemum petals covered in blood and saliva. 

Oh. _Oh no._

Dragging himself back to bed is a chore more than anything. The rest of the night is spent tossing and turning in bed, fiddling with his checkered scarf. Sleep doesn't come easily, not when he has so much on his mind. This whole thing is supposed to only be an urban legend ** _!_** So why is it that he's bolted awake just to cough the very stuff up ** _?_** As far as he knows, he hasn't eaten flowers lately. 

* * *

A check-up. The doctor has looked at him weirdly the whole time but she hasn't said anything besides commenting on a strange noise in his chest when she told him to inhale and exhale deeply. Something sounded almost like a rattle or the wind blowing through leaves. _'It shouldn't be anything to worry about.'_ but the pity he sees in her eyes makes his stomach drop. She knows what's going on, she has to. 

He's decided that he doesn't want to stick around to get the whole diagnostic. 

* * *

Today everybody seems a lot busier than normal. They are all running around on the background of Kyoko giving orders in a calm yet stern voice. At her side, although only briefly, he spots Byakuya sporting that constipated frown of his. He's gone after only a few words are exchanged. 

Moving purple gaze to the side, he spots Makoto as well. Presentable as always yet the worry on his face gives away that something's on his mind. **_(_** Kokichi feels his chest constrict painfully, the familiar tickle of petals in the back of his throat. **_)_** He's giving indications as well but the liar only catches the mention of the Neo World Program. Could it be that they are getting closer to being able to make a stable one? 

He slips away unnoticed the moment he sees Makoto talking to Kyoko. That night he counts a dozen chrysanthemum petals and five yellow rose ones. 

* * *

Though he knows better than to exhaust himself, Kokichi still enjoys the thrill of a good chase. It’s how he finds himself being followed closely behind by Makoto. It started with a harmless prank, a tongue stuck out and running off before he can be questioned properly. 

A sharp turn around the corner and he stops to regain his breath before analyzing his surroundings to plan his next move. There are several, unused rooms on this floor as well as two different sets of stairs leading to the next floor. A metal, fire escape staircase is connected to the window behind himself. Plenty of options to make his pursuit harder. 

A deep breath and -- cough. It’s just a mild fit most likely brought on by the sudden movement. Badly timed too for Makoto just rounds the corner as well to which the liar quickly drags the scarf upwards so it hangs on his nose and covers his mouth. 

**“ Ni~shi~shi, you almost caught me Naegi-chan _!_ ”** an elegant bow and out the window he goes, footsteps resounding on the metallic fire escape stairs as he makes his way down the steps two at a time. 

_This was too close for comfort._

* * *

It’s getting harder and harder to hide the coughing fits. Each one brings a new wave of petals in his mouth that he’s starting to run out of ways to justify. If he were to have had Himiko’s talent then he could pass it off as a magic number he does a lot for. . . reasons. But he doesn’t and the fact that he’s started carrying a fake chrysanthemum with him everywhere doesn’t help his case either. It’s one of those _loves me, loves me not_ plastic ones that has detachable petals that can be pulled back inside. Some of the spots are empty from where he’s ripped them out completely. 

**_(_** Suppose he should be happy that it’s not roses that are growing in his lungs, he can’t imagine living in constant pain from the thorns. **_)_**

In a fit of frustration, Kokichi grips the toy and throws it with all his might in the nearby trashcan. Unfortunately for him, by doing so he’s also caused yet another coughing fit -- by far the worst one yet. So here he is, one arm against the wall to support his weight while he hacks and the hand from the other covering his mouth as to not leave evidence. 

**“ Ouma-san? ”**

_**Fuck.**_

Quite literally the last person he wants to see but he rises his head regardless and looks behind himself to see worried greens staring right back. And that worry only grows when he shakily straightens from his hunched over position, throwing a handful of bloodied petals in the trashcan as he does so. Some of them are sticking around his mouth, to his chin and cheeks where blood mixes with tears in a grotesque and pained display. 

**“ Naegi-chan. . _!_ ”** but the response is garbled and some petals slip off, gently falling to the ground. Before he can second guess his actions, he grabs his checkered scarf and brings it up to cover the lower half of his face just as another coughing fit hits and he feels how something _big_ is coming. Something that clogs his airways much like that first night, something that gets lodged in his throat, something that takes desperate thumping on his chest to get out. Doubled over and in pain, he thinks this is it, this is how he is going to die before something drops in his scarf. Unsure what to expect, he slowly pulls it away from his mouth. 

**An entire flower.**

Pale and wide-eyed, all the liar can do is stare in disbelief. An entire chrysanthemum flower in full bloom. And the one who’s the sole person responsible for its existence saw him cough it up. This has to be some terrible, hyper-realistic nightmare. Yeah. _Yeah. . ._

A shuddering breath is inhaled. **“ I don’t- _I don’t-_ ”** it’s hard to breathe again, between the tears that just won’t stop falling and the metallic aftertaste left behind by the blood **“ I hate you _!_ No, _I LOATHE YOU!_ ”** but he’s trembling all over, frightened by what it means to get attached to somebody so much, by the possibility of forming such a strong bond with somebody else, by the thought of handing himself over to somebody else. Somebody who only sees him as a nuisance and already has other people they care about more. 

With a calm that only shock beyond comprehension can bring, Kokichi reaches inside his mouth and fishes out another, considerably smaller flower alongside another handful of petals. It only proves further that Makoto is the one responsible for this happening. **“ I absolutely loathe you for making me go through this. ”** if the other hadn’t insisted on saving and _reforming_ him then none of this would have happened. 

Angry, saddened, confused, empty. It’s hard to pinpoint what he feels. It’s all Makoto’s fault, all of it. This is some kind of revenge for Kokichi being a constant pain in the ass. Slowly make him grow attached so it kills him in the long run. He’s heard the whispers going around the Future Foundation building. Nobody cares for Remnants even after they are brought back from their despair. It’d be a safer bet to let him slowly wither away on his own than to murder him outright. 

Teeth gritted and hands balled into fists, he starts making his way along the wall and away. They’ve talked enough. 

* * *

Another check-up. He’s lacking the usual verve he presents himself with. The stress under which his body is constantly was only made worse by the encounter from a few days ago. At the rate things are going. . . 

_“ Ouma-kun. . . ”_ the doctor starts and he already knows where this is going _“ There’s a very high chance you’ll die if this continues on. I suggest surgery-- ”_

**“ I’ll take it. ”** spoken with no hesitation whatsoever, cutting through her words. A slow blink of the eyes follows. It’s _dangerous_ to keep going like this. No point in overcomplicating things. 

She seems to hesitate briefly, caught off guard by the quick answer. _“ But you don’t-- ”_

**“ I will take it. ”** more forceful this time. He never wanted any of this and he definitely doesn’t want to kick the bucket yet. 

* * *

The next time they meet, at first Kokichi stares blankly at Makoto. Something at the back of his mind tells him that he should be happier to see the other but this doesn’t appear on his face. Matter of fact, he only looks mildly curious. 

**“ Ouma-san, it’s good to see you out and about again! ”** hopeful, he pads over to him. It doesn’t last for long when the liar keeps just looking at him. _“_ **Is. . . everything alright? ”** though the tinge of concern in his voice gives way to much more. 

Tilt head to the side. It’s strange to see the other so. . . so. . . hm. Can’t exactly describe it. Disappointed that the liar doesn’t greet him with his usual antics ** _?_**

Shake off the strange feeling. It doesn’t matter now. **“ Yeah. Yeah, it’s fine. ”** and then without missing a beat **“ I heard the Neo World Program is almost done. For real, this time. I heard the doctor talk about one of the people being put in it is the Ultimate Nurse. ”** he didn’t catch much of the conversation going in and out of consciousness but he remembers this bit clearly for whatever reason **“ It’s so scary to imagine her using her talent to cause despair _!_ She can easily torture people by hitting certain points _!_ ”**

**“ Well, yeah, it’s nearly done. Just some tweaking and then it’s good to go. ”** slowly threading through the turn in the conversation. 

**“ More people like me. ”** thoughtful. A hand comes up to fiddle with the checkered scarf at his neck. Hmm **“ Have fun with your new guinea pigs. ”** before he turns around and departs without waiting for a response. The emptiness in his chest that grew as the discussion progressed has become uncomfortable which is his cue to go. It’s going to take some time to get used to it every time he talks to Makoto but it’ll be worth it in the end. He is _not_ going to kick the bucket for such a stupid reason such as falling in love with somebody who doesn’t return it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey! If you enjoyed reading this, please consider leaving a kudo or a comment! It lets me know what you thought about it and encourages me to post more. Bookmarks are also welcome should you decide that you want to come back to read this again!


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